The word “trauma” has echoed through my life like a persistent heartbeat. For years, I believed healing meant confronting pain—dissecting the moments that broke me and tracing the wounds left by my father’s emotional absence. I spoke endlessly about the distance I felt from him, the forgiveness I struggled to find. But in my relentless pursuit of understanding my hurt, I overlooked something profound: the love and resilience that had always been right beside me—my mother.
My mother isn’t just a parent. She is a testament to unconditional love, a quiet strength that never asks for recognition. While uncertainty swirled around us, she remained steady. When my father’s absence created emotional earthquakes, she was the foundation that kept me standing.
I think back to moments of struggle—times when I felt broken and incomplete. My mother would look at me with eyes that saw beyond my pain, eyes that held more hope for me than I could imagine for myself. She never pushed. She never demanded. She simply loved.
Our daily conversations are sometimes brief—a quick check-in, a minute of connection. “Are you okay?” “How are the kids?” Simple words, yet they carry the weight of a lifetime of unspoken love. And yet, I’ve realized something: I haven’t always been fully present in these moments.
There are times I’ve felt impatient—like when she asks for help with something small, such as adjusting a phone setting or figuring out a new app. In those moments, I realize I’m not fully showing up for her. I overlook the courage it takes to be vulnerable—the simple, yet profound act of reaching out for help.
Choosing Warmth—In Spirit and in Life
My mother now spends most of her winters in the Caribbean, escaping the harsh Northeast cold. After years of being our family’s anchor, she has crafted a life filled with warmth—not just in climate, but in spirit. The gray Northeast landscapes contrast sharply with the vibrant islands she now mostly calls home.
She has earned this ease, this joy. And in her, I see something that has reshaped how I think about leadership, healing, and love.
The Leadership Lessons My Mother Never Meant to Teach
In my work with DEI consulting, I’ve learned that true leadership isn’t about invulnerability. It’s not about power, control, or dominance. True leadership is about creating spaces where people can be fully human.
My mother has lived this truth without ever using those words. She’s shown me that strength isn’t about never breaking—it’s about how you reassemble yourself. It’s about choosing love, again and again, even in the face of loss, disappointment, and uncertainty.
Healing isn’t a destination—it’s an ongoing recognition. Not just of the pain, but of the love that endures. The love that doesn’t keep score. The love that remains, steady and unwavering, even when we fail to fully see it in the moment.
In DEI work, we talk about creating inclusive environments. But true inclusion isn’t just a policy or an initiative. It starts with something far more personal: the ability to see each other—fully, deeply, without conditions.
My mother has shown me that seeing isn’t just about looking. It’s about understanding. It’s about holding space for someone’s entire humanity—their struggles, their triumphs, their quiet moments of resilience.
A Call to Action
I challenge you to:
- Recognize the unsung heroes in your life—the ones who have held you up, even when you didn’t notice.
- Practice radical empathy, starting with the people closest to you.
- Understand that vulnerability is not weakness—it is the most profound form of strength.
Transforming Organizational Culture
At Hyphens and Spaces, we believe organizational transformation is deeply personal. DEI isn’t just about policies or training modules. It’s about creating workplaces that reflect the best of what it means to be human.
We help teams:
☑️ Develop emotional intelligence
☑️ Create psychologically safe environments
☑️ Transform communication from transactional to transformational
☑️ Recognize and celebrate individual humanity
Are you ready to reimagine leadership? 👉 Click here to schedule a discovery call today.
Let’s build organizations—and a world—where vulnerability is honored, where love is the most powerful form of leadership.
In honor of every unsung hero who has loved us unconditionally—who has shown us that healing is not about perfection, but about persistent, radical love.